Jokes!!!

Give my free gift Sardar starts shouting in a store...... Where is my free gift with this oil? Shopkeeper : There is nothing free with this Sardar: It is written CHOLESTEROL FREE. Why? Banta and his son went fishing one day. After a couple of hours the son started getting bored, so he started thinking about the world around him. Out of his curiosity, he started asking his father a few questions. “How does this boat float?” Banta thought for a moment, then replied, “Don't rightly know, son.” The boy returned to his contemplation, but soon came up with another one, “How do fish breath underwater?” Once again Banta replied, “Don't rightly know, son.” A little later the boy asked Banta, “Why is the sky blue?” Again, Banta replied, “Don't rightly know, son.” Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?” Banta immediately assured him, “Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!” I swallowed a key Santa: I have swallowed a Key. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

From Far and Wide

Collision Buddy Two men got out of their cars after they collided at on a narrow Scottish road. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, "Here, maybe you'd like a nip to calm your nerves." "Thanks," he said, and took a long pull from the container. "Here, you have one, too," he added, handing back the whisky. "Well, I'd rather not," said the first. "At least not until after the police have been here." What's in a name? A woman called to make reservations; "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!" Notices, almost in English…or whatever. Believe it or not, these announcements were actually found in different parts of the world. 1) In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis. 2) In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 3) In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up. 4) In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. 5) In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. 6) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. 7) Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. 8) In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. 9) From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. 10) From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.