Amazing English (dont forget ur english)!!!

I n Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges, always speaks in English. Thatcollege s tudents have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English" 

... Njoy ...........with his..............English.............. 
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jappier's Spoken English" 

# At the ground: 
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All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
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I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk? 

# While punishing students: 
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You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt this )
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Every body should wear dress to college 
Boys no proplum 
# Sir at his best: 
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Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"


# Sir at his best inside the Class room: 
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Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half. 
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class." 
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length.... 

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats). 

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy" 

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police " 
ok njoy this English, but dont forget your English